B.S. is my Name

By Ysandre, age 13, Waterford

‘Ah, fellas I’ve just stolen something

Come and have a look

From an unsuspecting girl

Nose buried in a book.’

B.S. is my name

But I ain’t takin’ none of that

I’ve just nicked me a wallet

So nobody’ll call me a doormat.

Jaysus, I’m class

Top fella of the gang

In the wallet was a card

The number on it I rang

Sure enough it was answered.

‘Hello?’ said somebody.

I hung up then, having called with 

No Caller ID.

Bought me a Lost Mary

With the card at Grab’n’Go

Tap – beep – accepted

The modest sum of four twenty euro.

Hopped on down to City Centre

Went to JD

But the card had been declined

Before I could pay for my Louis V.

But I don’t care, I’m still some fella

I don’t take the piss

I still got me a free vape and a fiver

Wait till the lads hear about this.